a redeeming point for children

okay so i went to get my hair done up in fairfax and i'm sitting on the couch, reading a magazine, waiting for my stylist. I became distracted by an obnoxious voice of some old gitbag lady bitching about something. I can see her bee-lining for the front desk to most likely complain about something to jew her way out of paying. Of course nothing amuses me more than shitty people so i turn my attention to the desk. a mother and her daughter, about seven years old, come up to pay. the mom is a real piece of shit and the child has clearly learned from her example. daughter is crying. daughter is VERY ugly! i shoot the shithead kid a dirty look, smile at the mom, and the girl at the desk asks her what's the matter. "she cut her bangs all wrong!" the mother cries out. "they were supposed to look like mine! so that people can TELL that we're mother and daughter! but daughter looks like a sheepdog!" she pulls the stupid kid closer to her. what i want to say is the cold hard truth: that the daughter more closely resmbles a mixture of a boar and a vampire bat at best, and that the mother owes sheepdogs everywhere a sincere apology for the shit she just talked on them. but the mom can't handle the truth and neither can the hideous kid so i have to zip it. plus i wonder how the girl at the desk will handle this."it's okay honey, we'll find someplace that can fix it for you and you'll look juuuuust like mommy!" she reaches out to adjust her daughter's bangs, and the daughter does something that makes me think maybe she's not such a shithead after all. in a fit of pouty tear soaked rage, she punches her mom in the stomach with all the strength she can muster in her puny seven year old fist. the mom is embarrassed and says something to the (now much cooler) daughter under her breath. i'm trying so hard not to laugh as the girl at the desk takes the disgruntled whore's forty five dollars and send both wastes on their way. Sucks for that kid but my hair came out awesome!!

cat dicks are not so "purrr"-fect

okay, i think something needs to be said about cat dicks. what's with cats having the most pathetic dicks in the world? it's so sad. cats are awesome animals. but there's something not so awesome about them, and that's their dick. it looks like a crayon! what the fuck? don't get the wrong idea. it's not like i sit here on the internet and check out what different dicks in the animal kingdom look like or anything. i'm not into that okay? NOT INTO THAT!!! but i think it's weird and uncool that cat dicks not only are small as hell and look like some kind of fucked up slimy crayon/adaptor cord, but also that they are SPIKED and hurt the female cat while sex is happening! i've never seen my male cat's dick before, and i'm really glad about that. i hope i never do! don't think i'm hating on cats in this post alright? i love cats. just don't love their penis. it would be a lot worse if i DID love cat dicks, so don't be all like "you're gross."