when women get older, like up into their mid to late forties, something i like to call "long biscuit ass" starts to rear its ugly head. you know what i'm talking about. i'm talking about when an ass starts to get longer, and more dull. it also gets flatter, more doughy, and less vibrant. the ass has lost its enthusiasm, and has morphed into two biscuits that have been pulled and stretched downwards. even through a pair of "mom jeans" with a 9"-12" fly, it is evident that a matronly woman's posterior has seen much better days. it's almost as if the butt is frowning without having a mouth. if you don't know what i mean, go throw some shit on the kitchen floor and check out your mom's dumper while she bends over to pick it up. then you will understand. on that note, in the tradition of my hero weird al yankovic, i present to you a song that i wrote about this phenomenon. it is to the tune of "long distance runaround" by the one, the only, YES.
long biscuit runaround
sad dough waiting to turn golden brown
i still remember the dream there
i still remember the time you said goodbye
to the butt that i liked
used to get so psyched
damn, it really used to look tightdull bread, no glistening
no yeast; i'll leave those biscuits alone
i still remember the jeans you'd wear
i still remember back when your behind
was a lot more fine
why'd you trade it for those long buns?(repeat verses)
used to be so defined
[highly technical instrumental; making mad progress; chops like woah]
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